Wise Bachelor

Q. Dear WB, my friend recently cheated me very badly. I’m so hurt that I want to kill him as a revenge. Is there any way I can get out of law without getting punished. – Dost Bana Dushman, Jorhat

Ans: I was avoiding answering questions for a long time as the questions were very boring, but your question made me jump with Joy. What a great start to a new year. Well, my friend Indian Penal Code does not provide any way to get out of it while doing such a crime. Even if you have a political and financial backup, the law will get you some day or the other. There is one way however where you may get out of it. Declare yourself a terrorist and surrender. You would be able to negotiate with the Govt. about what you want if you surrender. After that songs will be written in your praise how you fought with the Zaalim Govt. and defeated them.

Well, jokes apart I suggest you to go the Gandhi way of non-violence. Forgive him but do not forget. Believe me it is much more fun to see your enemy after that.

Q. Dear WB, my girlfriend is very sure that I have an affair with every girl I meet. I even tried making a few girls my sister, but I cannot go on making every girl my sister. What should I do? Ashiq Bana Jagat Bhaiyya, Shillong

Ans: I cannot stop laughing at this. Not that I don’t understand your problem, but at the innocence with which the question was asked. You must be feeling very proud that your girlfriend thinks you are the sexiest man alive in the earth. But, let me tell you my friend these are just tricks to keep you entertaining her all life. She knows that you are good for nothing but she does that to make you feel good.

You have a very good girlfriend. Of course, I don’t claim the authenticity of the statement.

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