Stupid Truths about Relationships

Hmm….it’s been fun for me the last couple of months as I have had a friend get committed, get too excited about it, got a break up and then came down in a truck load of booze and Marlboro. It’s been quite sunny in FE too, where people are fighting to say that the perfect girlfriend doesn’t exist and another claiming that girls are not to be blamed, but that a perfect boy friend does exist. Well, to put the lady into perspective, the perfect boy friend does exist, because men are capable of pleasing themselves as well as a woman. However, the perfect girlfriend doesn’t exist because women seek personal ambitions before anyone else’s. As the popular internet graffiti goes, its only because of the fact that women do not go after unsuccessful men that, there is always a women behind a successful man.

But, that’s just my post Puja merrymaking talking. Now that I am little bit sober, let me indulge all the couples out there. It’s great to share life with someone, until that person becomes a nag and a burden to lead on life happily. And there are so many stupid facts about relationships that I wonder why people still do this kind of stuff anymore in this internet age. I mean, wouldn’t it just be easier for someone to find a hot chick or a chuck on Facebook and then stalk him until he acknowledges your presence. Anyways, the ways of the world are sometimes out of my grasp. But what I do grasp are certain stupid truths that people tend to ignore when they are in a relationship. Let’s see what are some of those.

1. You are no longer able to enjoy your Old Monk in peace, and you always have to share it with either your partner or his or her parents or the pesky little brother or the irritating aunt and what not. It really becomes a pain in the you know what region, when you lose all that private booze time and end up being sober like that Phillips light in your living room.
2. You can no longer sit back and watch the Die Hard pentalogy, no matter how hard you try to stir your partner away from home. For you it must always be those shitty vampire movies or the occasional Men of Steel (which by the way is no longer as cool as Superman once used to be).
3. You will miss those dorm days, when you hooked up your laptop and connected it to the gorilla network or the sexy chicks network and played endless hours of counter strike or GTA. The only Grand Theft that will be happening in your lives will be GTS, Grand Theft Sleep.
4. There will come a time in life when you will go back to those days of yore when A, B, C, D and E were what Grand Masti taught you to be, but now it is all about A for American Express which you will be spending a lot, B for balls which you will gradually loose and the others I won’t even dignify to state.
5. But the most haunting aspect of all this is that you will never ever be a wise bachelor anymore; you will just becoming wiser no more. It’s sad, isn’t it?

Now, I don’t want to stir a hornet’s nest with all these talk, but I do hope that my fellow brethren will follow by the Wise Code (yes, I have one of those codes as well, and you though only Barney Stinson was so clever, didn’t you?) and try to outwit as many of the stupid mortals that still exist and make this place a better and bigger domain of wise dudes like me. Amen.

We welcome your comments at letters@friedeye.com