Movie Review: Baywatch (2016)

Priyanka Chopra’s debut Hollywood movie finally arrives. Of course, we Indians have a reason to be excited. Except, Baywatch happens to be the kind of damper that could ruin the best of party plans!

Way back in the 90s, Baywatch and Pamela Anderson pummeled each other into legendary heights of fame. Back then entertainment was different, and Youtube and other OTT platforms were non-existent. Baywatch the movie seeks to bring back the same magic on the big screen. Except, there is no magic at all.

What we have instead is a half-baked script and humour so juvenile that it could make Sajid Khan’s Housefull 3 look like a masterpiece.

Mitch Buchannon (Dwayne Johnson) is the hero of Emerald Bay. He has more than 500 life saves as a lifeguard. His team believes not only in ensuring the safety of people who arrive at the beach for a tan but also the law and order on the beach. Matt Brody (Zac Efron), a former Olympic champion, arrives in the city to be a part of the team so that he can resurrect his public persona. And there is Victoria Leeds (Priyanka Chopra), who has business interest in ruining the fun at the beach. There is something shady about her operations and Mitch wants to uncover it, even though it would make better sense to leave the job for the police. Because heroes go beyond their duty!

With a wafer-thin plot, the film relies heavily on the bikinis and the slow-mo shots. Now you may argue that it’s after all Baywatch! But then bikinis and hot bodies alone do get boring after a few minutes. How does one keep going for two hours? Even the usually lovely Priyanka Chopra is lost as she seems to be playing a different shade to her character in Dil Dhadakne Do – the family business being given to the less talented brother. Only this character seems to have gone horribly wrong and is given some rather trashy lines… ones that could remind you of Bollywood in the 90s.

The rest, including the enormous Dwayne, the seductively pretty Alexandra Daddario and the picture perfect Zac Efron fail to add much to this forgettable piece of cinema. Not even Pamela Anderson and David Hasselhoff’s special appearance makes it worth it.

Making things worse is some tacky CGI. And if that was not enough, Indian viewers in India have also got to deal with the merciless film certification board, which has chopped a large deal of the fun.

Overall, this one is one bay you won’t mind not visiting. Baywatch is like the boat never manages to leave the shore.

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