Horrorscope

(July 15, 2010 – July 31, 2010)

Aries- Beware of puddles. My potato ball shows you as having an accidental splash or some insensitive speeding car driver spraying some slush and mud this fortnight, so stay away from puddles. Unlucky colour muddy green. Unlucky number- fractions

Taurus – I can see a grand party in the days to come, but chances are you tight make a grander fool of yourself if you take alcohol there. If you are a teetotaler than refrain from taking more than two helpings because the after effects will not be good. Unlucky colour – brandy red. Unlucky Numbers – decimals

Gemini- Good news is your other half is seriously in love with you, bad news they want to take the relationship to the next level. If you are a girl then your man will try to become intimate with you and if you are a male. It’s worse, she will insist on you meeting her parents. Unlucky colour – baby pink. Unlucky Number- 2 and its multiples

Cancer – I foresee chances of a wardrobe malfunction in a very embarrassing and public place. If you want to be safe, then you better start dressing like super heroes. Unlucky colour – flesh colour. Unlucky Number- 0

Leo –I foresee a monetary disaster. No not financial loss, but like you will forget your wallet in an important occasion and land yourself in a tight spot. So the next 16 days better plaster your full wallet to your self or start practicing washing dishes. Unlucky colour- lemon yellow. Unlucky Number – any number less than 13

Virgo- Avoid commuting in a private vehicle because my potatoes predict a break down or puncture in the middle of nowhere and you pushing the vehicle for around two kilometers not to mention your schedule going haywire. Unlucky colour – grease black Unlucky Number- 60 to 70

Libra- Avoid kitchen and computers for the fortnight. If you use the kitchen then there is a chance of you turning into a Burned foodatarian, and computers? Well chances of attack of viruses from all front, even the bird flu virus may choose the computer instead of you. Unlucky number- binaries. Unlucky colour- monochromes.

Scorpio- Your chances of trying to attract someone – for whatever reason it might be , will draw towards you to the wrong person. Cross connection! Make the best of it. And try for the original one some other time. Unlucky colour – Fluorescent pink. Unlucky number- any number starting with 9

Sagittarius- You will be forgetting things throughout the weekend causing minor irritation. At work at home, at dates. Oh no it isn’t a major concern , just that you will be careless.. Unlucky colour and number – Does it matter ? Anyways you won’t remember it.

Capricorn- Pets , children, siblings , friends , spouses, neighbour , parents will be clamouring for your attention – to get their things done. Welcome the latest errand person. Better run for cover and solitude. Unlucky colour- Any colour from the VIBGYOR. Unlucky number- 1 as in 1 minute . listen once. Etc etc.

Aquarius- You will find difficulty in finding directions if you vent on into unknown areas alone. All the signboards will mix you up. But that gives you chance to make new acquaintances. Unlucky colour- black and white together Unlucky number odd numbers.

Pisces- All your appliances and electronics will try to act up and so you will be on war footing throughout. But you will win with some minor sacrifices like , leaves from work, cancelled dates, skipping parties etc. Unlucky number- your house number. Unlucky colour – red and green.

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