Horrorscope

Hello I was on a study tour in a secret hideout, a tapashya in common parley, but had to return back half done, as I was recalled by Miscellany. If a lady sends a distress call, how can I ignore it? She had asked me personally to foresee the emotional upheavals of people which is a very tough job. I have to make modifications to my Alu ball to feminize it as only the feminine gadgets can handle such a complicated issue. So the modifications I did. A little bit of sugar, a little bit of spice, a little bit of pepper- and I was done. Without any further delay as time is precious I begin…

Aries— You are in a dilemma with your resolve, now that you have taken a strong resolution to keep your resolve, but the resolve is not at all solving your problem and hence you are in a dilemma about whether your that dilemma should be dealt with a solvable solution or you should just go with your earlier resolve to stick to your resolution. Ahem!  My advice is that you should go with the resolution to solve the dilemma with a resolve to solve it without much resolution.

Taurus— A day in your fortnight shows you extremely happy and ecstatic compared to your other days in the fortnight but don’t compare that with your other ecstatic days of the other fortnights as compared to them it might not be that ecstatic and comparing them will no more make that comparatively ecstatic day of this fortnight as ecstatic as it had felt before you started comparing with other fortnights, after all fortnights are incomparable -especially ecstasy.

Gemini– Confusion had been always your forte as a fortnight full of confusions follow. You confuse a kind of confused emotion about another confused person with another confusing emotion .but good news is that you realize in time that you confused it as usual and that it will only lead to further confusion if you continue confusing your feelings. So finally you un-confuse your thoughts. Did you? Aaaargh! Now I am confused.(err Editor babu, can I skip Gemini from next time?)Just kidding just kidding!

Cancer– Ah you still brood! Your brooding will bore others and that will result in more brooding by those others on why you brood so much, which in turn will bore some more people and they will again  brood on why those others are brooding and so on it will go on affecting more and more people. You will be the sole reason for zombising a radius of around 15 kms. No doubt your sign is called Cancer.

Leo – A very fast fortnight for you. But your fastitude was never a surprise for anyone because you were fast enough to let others know that you are fast where life is concerned and a fast life should be embraced as fast as one can, if one wants to be known as a fast accomplisher. So you will be quite fast in whatever you are planning ahead but being fast doesn’t make a fast plan a perfect plan, but I guess you will learn that fast enough to correct yourself fast. Phew! Wasn’t that fast?

Virgo– Silence and peace is what you will be preferring-A detached I don’t give a damn attitude. So silence you will have …………………………………………………………………………………..

Libra– Your whole life has been about ifs and buts but of course if you don’t go for the buts there is a chance that you will mess up and if that happens it will set you back but you are one balanced person and if you keep that in mind that buts and ifs go hand in hand, you might recover from the messes unscathed. If and if only you had the knack of keeping things simple like me life would have been easier but you are not me.

Scorpio– You feel strange vibes everywhere, the coffee seems strange. The behavior of the people whom you know seems odd. The weather seems different. Google and Facebook seem changed. The colour of your clothes seems faded. The movie on Stranger tide seems ordinary, which shouldn’t have been so.  The book you are reading seems to have a different theory. The food tastes weird. The music sounds abnormally loud. What’s going on? Nothing! Just change your outlook and everything will seem same as before.

Sagittarius–  You are excited about something which is going to be exciting when it happens and you are getting excited because the day seems nearer when this exciting thing will happen, exciting you more and more just at the thought of it , and inwardly you are nervously excited thinking whether you will be able to tolerate so much excitement. Wow! Isn’t that exciting enough?

Capricorn– you have a secret that is secretly pleasing you but if you act too secretly about that, people might be secretly suspicious that you might be having some secret hidden and a group might try secretly to uncover your secret, and the secret remaining no more a secret will secretly depress someone whom you secretly love. Finally everything will become an open secret. Sigh!

Aquarius– Everything seems smooth on surface but there is a hint of un-smoothness and you aren’t having a smooth feeling about the smoothness. Maybe you should act tough and with a good cough, roughly break open the smoothness to see through the truth, though, it might be nothing as such and you will just end up with a big hearty laugh.

Pisces– Life will be slow for you. You will be counting hours during day time, counting days when sad. Counting sheep at night when sleep won’t come easily. Counting money when the month will seem to drag on. Counting on your friends when you will feel low. On account of your planetary positions the thrill will be unaccountable. Don’t count on me during those times. I will be out of the scene, so count me out.

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