Horrorscope

(January 15, 2011 – January 31, 2011)

A very happy new year to you all . I have only happy wishes for you , but the same cannot be said about the predictions. Are they bad? Bad and good are subjective or should I say relative issues. My potato gazing ball doesn’t give me a normal view of your life or may be you can say , they are too normal: But I think I am drifting away from the my topic and now let me get back on to my job. But before that let me just say that my ball err I mean potato gazing ball is on a health awareness spree.

Aries:- Why so serious son? Where is your smile? Your dynamism? Your go getting attitude? Why are you sitting with a constipated face? Because that’s exactly what may happen to you – Constipation. Not a suitable time to happen though. tch tch!

Taurus- All that lazing around and ruminating will make your body ache from joint to joint. The cold will make it worse and the coming fortnight will make it more uncomfortable. There is no escaping the cold if you are planning to deceive fate. Your blanket will either develop a hole or will become wet. Your heater and electric blanket will malfunction and the coal/firewood will be stolen.

Gemini- Gemini the double! There will be magic around you. You will see magical things. Things that we cant see. Things that will fascinate you or might disturb you. Sigh . So much hyper activity! It was bound to happen. You really need to shrink your imagination by seeing a shrink soon.

Cancer – Headaches! Yes! I see headaches in your fortnight.No! Not girlfriends , wife or kids! Rather work related stress or maybe something called hangover. Watch how you celebrate or where you celebrate or maybe where you do not celebrate.

Leo-Your mane and your claws are in danger. Thank God! Your teeth have been spared somewhat. Start searching yellow pages- No not for a skin specialist but for a lawyer to sue the cosmetic company whose new product made you such.

Virgo- Ah! Good news for you. You will be spending quite a lot of time online. Facebook, twitter- just name it. If not the internet then you will be spending gazing at the stars. Wondering how? Is it someone special whom you met online? No dears it is that thing called Insomnia or sleeplessness.

Libra – Though the Leo’s fangs were spared you don’t seem to share the same luck. I wonder where your sense of balance was when you gobbled plateful of sweets. What happened to your years of discipline when you ignored brushing your teeth before going to bed?

Scorpio – Scorpio females are supposed to have beautiful eyes so you don’t really need to be skimpily dressed to enhance your beauty. Your eyes will do it all. Hence no need to risk the cold as Scorpios will be highly in danger from cold related diseases. And guys- cigarette do not qualify as a fireplace or warming device so no need to deceive yourself or your family with that excuse.

Sagittarius- This scene might be played in your life the next fortnight.You are seeing double. You are having a headache. I know you are not drunk. It is just time to get your eyes checked. Eyes are your Achilles heel this fortnight.

Capricorn- Its one of the birth day month for Capricornians and to top it there is Bihu and there was the new year…Oh my God ! so many celebrations are going to over burden your tummy and you may develop a serious case of flatulence or should I say “Fartulence” to be understood better?

Aquarius- You are an Aquariun doesn’t mean that you have to act so squeaky clean and heroic to be in contact with water throughout this period. I can see some fungus in your near horizon which might cause some bad rashes.

Pisces- Food allergy! Yes, food allergy has conspired with your rahu and ketu to afflict you with this irritation. So stick to your usual diet only. No need for experimentation with new food. I really wish you had a nice time ahead but you have a hard time ahead , dealing with temptations. Sigh! Bihu! You win some .you lose some.

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